Monday, January 26, 2009

Caught With His Pants Down

You know that sophomoric piece of advice that is given to nervous public speakers to help them get over their stage fright? "Just imagine the audience is naked." Ew!

Well what if that naked audience then stormed the stage and proceeded to lay a beating on the poor hapless orator?

Now, imagine that it's not a public speaker, but a police constable. And the naked chap is not an audience member, but a "perp." This is what happened to a police woman in Auckland, New Zealand.

A 16 year old male reportedly shoplifted sundry snack-food items from the Tiraumea Superette, then returned a short time later with a rifle to rob the store and its customers. He departed with cash and cigarettes and apparently made his get-away on a child's bicycle.

It gets worse.

After a tip-off that the suspected robber had fled to a nearby relative's home, the officer and her male colleague arrived. He was in the shower at the time and fled wearing only a towel.

They chased him, splitting up as they ran.

When the policewoman tried to stop the teen, he allegedly straddled her and beat her numerous times in the face.

Police communications staff heard her screaming over the police radio for about two minutes as she was being pummelled.

Her colleague continued the chase and suffered a broken hand - and wasp stings. He managed to catch the suspect with the help of a third police officer, a police dog and a member of the public inside another home.

Fortunately, the police woman's injuries were not as serious as they could have been. Although she was covered in blood, according to witnesses, and had scratches to the corneas of her eyes, there were no broken bones.

The teen aged perpetrator suffered minor cuts and scratches, although police have not specified the specific locations of said injuries. If he has any shame, he also suffered tremendous embarrassment. If there's any justice, his mates will never let him live it down. He faces charges of "aggravated wounding, aggravated robbery and two counts of assault."

Paging Hollywood. I don't care what movie you put this scene in, so long as you use it.

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