The St. Patrick's Day Massacre

The results are in from yesterday's by-election -- pending official certification from the Chief Electoral Officer. I'm still holding out for a recount in Toronto Centre.

But unofficially, the results were amazing. Here at the Jack of Hearts, we've been keeping an eye out for the Animal Alliance Environment Voters Party of Canada (the Fighting AAEVP). In the 2006 general election they scored 72 votes, and we were looking for them to make a breakthrough in 2008.

Well, the old rivals -- the Marxist Leninists, the Nation Alliance Party and the Communist Party -- chickened out and didn't even show up for the contest this year. But one new challenger presented -- the Canadian Action Party (CAP).

And what happened? Well true to form, the Fighting AAEVP was ready to take on all pretenders to the marginalized silly parties' throne.

The Fighting AAEVP earned 123 Votes!!! last night, to the CAP's paultry 97 votes, for a stunning fifth place finish.

The Jack of Hearts has been following the Fighting AAEVP for four whole days now, and has been broadcasting its brave fight for whatever it is that it stands for. We can't help but claim full credit for this remarkable electoral breakthrough (51 more votes than 2006).

But, of course, half of this fifth place finish belongs to God.